Dear Shinigami,
You are so cool! And way hot. Are you and Hilde a couple? You were just awesome in Endless Waltz, and I loved your pants. Does Heero get on your nerves? I am seventeen years old and I love you. I just started driving so...Have you ever wrecked Deathscythe? If so, how did you tell Professor G?
Love,
Shinigamisonlylove
Dear Only Love,
Hi! Thanks for writing to me. Yes, I know I am hot. I bought those pants on a shopping trip with Trowa. Wow, he really knows how to find sales, lemme tell ya. Anyway, no, Hilde and I aren't a couple, and yes, Heero gets on my nerves, but I can't do anything about it, 'cause he is made of Gundanium and he would kill me. Plus...well, I'd kindof miss him if I had to kill him.
Wreck my buddy? Are you crazy? Sure, we got in a couple 'a scrapes a few times, but we always came out okay...pretty much....Oh yeah, and the next time I saw G after Trowa blew up Deathscythe the old coot let H beat me up. So...good luck. Drive safely. Heck, you won't listen to me. Have fun.
Dear Duo,
You are cordially invited to a tea party for the cast and crew of Gundam Wing. Please RSVP and bring a dish to share if you come.
Duo, not alcohol!
Time: 4:00 P.M. April 21, A.C. 198
Place: His Excellency the late Treize Khushrenada's house in Luxembourg or some other small European country.
Host: Mister Quatre Raberba Winner.
Hm. Um, Quatre...that's not a question.
I wanted to know if you would come to the tea party! I also invited Jimmy from Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy and Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls. It will be so much fun! Trowa is going to juggle!
Wow. I will sure be there. Is Heero coming?
Well... I think Relena is dragging him, but he's coming.
Are they letting him near explosives yet?
Yeah, I think the judge ended that last week.
Okay, I'll be there. And I'll bring, uh, hot dog buns or something.
It's a tea party. But, um, whatever! I'm sure whatever you bring will be fine, so don't be embarrassed that you've never been to a tea party before and no tienes un idea about how to behave properly, everything will be fine! Okay?
Okay. Thanks, man. See you Sunday! Bye!
Snicker. I'm tempted to bring Howard's supply of alcoholic champaigne, but naw. Quatre tries so hard. Oh well, if anyone has a question, e-mail!
Dear Duo,
I think you are really hot, but I don't love you or anything. I understand that it's not possible for us. However, I have a boyfriend who gets jealous easily. He hates your guts, and I want to be myself and keep liking the things I like and the guys I like, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?
Your Admirer,
Otaku and Girlfriend in Kentucky
Dear Otaku,
Hm. This sounds serious. So I take it this guy wants you to take down all your pictures of me and replace them with pictures of him. Jeeze, what is his problem? Everyone likes Duo Maxwell (har har, I wish)! Is this the only problem in your relationship, or does it symbolize your underlying longing to extract yourself from an actual romantic relationship? Do you want to be free as a bird now? Do you wanna be free, like the bluebird flying by you? Do you got to be moving on? Do you want a copy of "50 ways to leave your lover"? Do you wish he hadn't wasted his heart on a wild thing? Are you ready to run? Are you going to help me settle all the lawsuits that will arise from all the lyrics I just stole? Seriously, just forget about the cartoons, girl, but have fun. Faithless female. I'm glad you're not my girlfriend!
Dear Shinigami,
Maxwell, you baka, don't forget the press conference I have to go to this Saturday. You are coming, aren't you? You know, Heero will be there with Relena, and if you're not there to keep an eye on me...Anyway, there is an awards ceremony on Sunday, and in addition to the Peacecraft-Yuys, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, and the Changs will be there. You will be there and you will dress appropriately. You will call me tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Miss Catalonia
Dear Babe,
Yo. Sure, I will be there. Are you going to pick me up or what? And I guess "dress appropriately" means go shopping with Trowa? And jeeze, Dorothy, I'm not worried about you and Heero. So stop talking about it. I read "Battlefield of Pacifists", no da, and Heero totally ignored you. No offense. Okay, so I kinda got shot down too, but not as bad as you did. That was a good comic. I looked good. So did you. We all looked good. Deathscythe got to fight. It was good stuff. I got to eat, too. Yay for my metabolism!
Ahem...
I gotta go, so I'll see you Saturday? Oh, yeah, and I'll call.
Love,
Duo
Dear Duo,
I don't mean to bother you or anything Duo, but you haven't paid the rent in three months. I know you have all kinds of special expenses, but really, next time I'm just going to take it right out of your paycheck. Which isn't going to be much to begin with if you don't start working! For the love of Sanc, talking to customers does not make money! Please!
Look Duo, I'm not mad, but I will be soon. No da? And it wouldn't kill you to do some laundry. Or dishes. Or cleaning. Anything at all. Please.
Love,
Hilde
Dear Hilde-babe,
Hi, I saw you wrote but I didn't get a chance to read it. Look, I gotta go with Dorothy to a political somethin'-or-other on Saturday and another thing on Sunday. You can come Sunday, and I think it's like fancy or somethin', so me an' Barton are going shopping with Quatre's money on Friday and you wanna come? Quatre will probably come too, so, like, I'm gonna need a little help, no da? Heh heh, I mean, there's only so much "OMG, this is so cute!" that I can stand. I need a sane opinion. I really don't want to end up in something pink. Anyway, I'll see you when I get home tonight, and can I have tomorrow morning off, 'cause it's pretty late now and there's no way I'm getting up. Thanks, babe!
Love,
Shinigami
Dear Shinigami,
What's up, Bro? I saw you on Gundam Wing and I like your style. You wanna have a gundam match during the next alt universe tournament? That would be wicked, but I bet you anything I beat you, Bro!
Your fellow pilot,
Psi Psi Shee (or however you choose to spell it)
Dear Psy Psycho
Hi! Nice to get a letter from another chara whose main designation in the group is "annoyingly good-natured." Um, I never lied to get my buddies thrown in jail, though. Hey, if we fight and I win, will you cook for me for a week (not that Hilde's cooking is bad, you understand. I like stuff slightly burnt, I really do)? If you win (and you won't), I'll repair your gundam for free. Or I'll get Howard to repair it, whatever. And say, you wanna hang out sometime? Wu-fei would love to fight you.
Yer pal,
Shinigami
Dear Shinigami,
Sup, homey. This is Chibodee. Howz it goin'! Nothin' much is goin' on here, except the girls are still fighting over me. Listen, it seems to me that we have a little disagreement. You seem to think that you are the cool American Gundam pilot, but I am the original. So don't go thinking you are all cool just because you have more fan sites, because you aren't.
Dear Chibodee,
Your name is stupid. It is the stupidest name I've ever heard. Chibodee Crockett? Therefore, I am, and will always be, cooler than you.
Anyway, congratulations on the girl situation. I'm happy for you. I'll see you at the football game Sunday...if I can sneak away from this fund-raising party...
